i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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