I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
