i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
