I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
