We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
