when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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