70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
