Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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