Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
