I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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