if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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