I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
