office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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