The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
