Acid is not a monday night drug
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
