i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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