You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Randomize
