Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
