Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
