I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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