ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
