So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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