She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
