maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
