In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
