who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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