we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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