Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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