Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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