I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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