Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
