Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
