I can't breathe out the right side of my face
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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