This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
