i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
