I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
its liver damage thursday
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
