i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
