Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
