How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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