Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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