Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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