singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
