He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
