I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
