I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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