you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
