you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
