I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
