We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
