So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
