chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you didnt know i had herpes?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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